Have you ever set yourself a new years resolution only to get to the 5th of January and realise you already broke it without thinking about it? Do you always say, ‘XYZ is my biggest dream’ then when asked ‘So what have you done about that’, your response is ‘Oh, Im really busy at the moment but Ill get round to it soon’ or use any other of the thousand reasons why you can’t fulfil the dream or goal because lets be honest, fear of failure stops our actions. We use the excuses to stop us from living. Excuses that if we didn't have fear, we would indeed just find solutions for.
The fear as I call it, is the fear of the what if? and you answer with all the negative answers that your mind can possibly think of. What if I start that new business and it fails. What if I look for love and they hurt me. What if I try to lose weight and fail? What if I change my whole career and I am not good enough.
The thing with fear, is it is the thing that has never happened to you and is not happening to you. However you project into the future all the possible negative things that could but has not happened.
The fear does come from why we originally built a fear response. This was to survive from bears chasing us, danger to our lives as we hunted animals for food. That fear or flight reaction was bought about by a genuine response to save life. Now we have made about the fear much more about our egos.
So my tips on how to try and overcome some of these
Failure is ok - Be ok with the fact that everything wont always be as you expect it to be, it might go bad and then turn out even better than you expected.
Don't give up – Know that while your goal or dream might change along the way as you learn more about yourself and the reality of the fulfilling the dream. Don't give up on fulfilling it or whatever it becomes. If you stop doing, nothing will happen.
Establish your values – if you are trying to complete goals or dreams that go against your values, they will of course instantly fail. Be honest about what your values are, where you are right now in your beliefs. It makes your goal setting more realistic and likely to succeed.
Life list – Having a list of all the things you hope to do and achieve in your life is a great way to start. You get to then pick the things you want to achieve or do each year that is achievable to your other commitments. It gives focus and order.
Bite size chunks – Your goal might be to set up your own business, but there might be a number of things you need to do to get there. Learning new things, build business plans, find funding and so forth. You might just choose to do a couple of things over the year to achieve one of your dreams from the life list. Make it achievable
If this all seems overwhelming as it often can. Ask a supportive friend to help you through or seek out a good life coach to get you where you need to be.