So I had planned to visit my friend in the Philippines, she is a friend that I met some 8 years ago while working in Bahrain, I was excited to see her and spend time with her family. I have had Philippines staff working for me in the past and know the temperament to be good and that eating together is a huge part of the day to day life they have. However what I was to discover from my trip was an perfect example that the most advanced natural EQ is formed from simple living techniques. When I say simple I don't mean it in anything other than keeping it simple.
So I arrived and was informed by my friend that the special curtains that are saved for festival season had been put up for my arrival. I was a guest, unlikely no different to any other guest but it felt like a huge sign of respect, not for the curtains themselves that were lovely but the time they would have taken to do the act.
I had arrived to them with a pretty nasty infection which through the tea they made for me from the leaves that sat outside their house and some coconuts that my friend had purposely gone to get for me in the morning.....I was quickly getting it cleared up. They did not treat this as anything other then a normal everyday task that they would resolve, and this was interesting to me. My infection did not feel like a drama but just something that was part of every day life. The ability to problem solve with calm and effective resolve was just another sign to me of the high emotional intelligence.
So the 'province' which is the area that my friend refers to her area as, reminded me in many ways to that I had observed but not lived in in Vietnam and Thailand where people thrived and families looked to love and live in communities rather than individualism that so much of the western world live in. Now people in the western world will argue that they don’t of course, but until you see this way of living you realise that the tv, phones and works of capitalism has kept us far from each other have succeeded . I was fascinated had never able to live in it when I had observed it from the sidelines in Vietnam and Thailand, now though My friend and her family gave me an chance to live this life and this is what I saw, and I was so grateful.
The baby’s here are constantly handled, they are passed from one family member to another, they are comforted quickly and content with the life they have. Everyone comes together for there care and no Mother is alone. The children play independently showing signs that there attachment is healthy and I would surmise that the family upbringing is a likely cause of such healthy play.
Phones are still used and obsessive selfies are taken but this is controlled and due to the evidence to high emotional intelligence does not seem to effect the day to day family life.
People come together, nothing is silent and never have I felt so protected with a sense of community. People are little bothered about material items, more about eating together, washing, cleaning, living, talking seeing the life that we have in the present.
There has been some serious drug concerns that the new president has put to a severe decline due to some hard new rules and curfews. People have conformed in general to the new rules, proudly displaying stickers saying they completed the drug awareness training and that they were a 'drug free household'. It was another sign to add into the confirmation that they were able to control and be part of a community. They accepted, learnt and moved forwards in life in a healthy way.
For the first time in for as long as I could remember I could be myself. I pondered why and realised it was simply because I did not need to dress a certain way, need to have expectations of me, my friend her family her friends and the people I met did not judge, they did not care about all of that they were just interested in me but most importantly not judgementally. I helped pump the water from the well and exisited in the community where you never owed someone time or money, it jsut came back around in the end, even for those who had nothing.
There was no hurry where I stayed, stuff happened in good time and I adjusted well to the relaxed family life (well mostly and where I had a word with myself for my lack of EQ) and this was where everyone helped to get stuff done.
The day after I arrived we went to a faith healer. I was absolutely fascinated. When we arrived the waiting room was packed, the room filled with hope. I was told that people travelled far to be here. The father of my friend had got up at 4am just to come to book our appointment. It felt momentous like the world might change from this one encounter. People came mostly taken over by bad spirits or from cancer. I was told those who had faith were cured. I felt a little saddened for those who were not cured, not only would they die but they also died believing they had no faith.
A lady who had travelled with us on the family tuctuc had been told she would need a back operation so far she had no need for it and seemed to be getting better. There were story of people being diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, cured. I wont lie, I had hope.
I watched a man animately tell a story in Philippine, obviously I could not understand the language but I could tell he was telling tales of those who had been healed. Through his body language alone I could see him telling his story with such passion of a person who was able to walk again after being healed. I didn’t need to speak the language but even I had been convinced it had to be worth a shot for anyone looking for a cure to the ailments
High emotional intelligence seems prevalent in the provinces of Philippines. I believe it’s something to do with the close living arrangements, the constant family, friends and human interaction. There is no time to be alone. If you’re around people all the time, your patience levels, ability to resolve conflict and your general temperament will by default be good. If the people that have EQ are the ones you are learning from of course. They are good at social situations when to be there and not be there. What I find here is the photos and selfies are not for anyone, they are not fake, they are photos of genuine love and affection. They do not busy themselves with the menial tasks of life, they do things together, no one is alone, no one is solely responsible for a life. Everyone knows there neighbours and if someone was sick, bereaved or similar everyone I don’t doubt would be there. They have feeding days for the kids where charity or the more well off in the community will support the by giving the kids rice and eggs.
So my lesson from this is human interaction in communities will breed natural and high emotional intelligence. Keep the life simple, you dont need things you need people and human conenction that is long lasting. Simple.